The other day I was sitting at my desk, procrastinating about doing some billing and feeling pretty blah after five days of consecutive rain and then I opened an email. The email was from a client I had met with once, several weeks ago. She had been struggling with feeling that maybe she was not supposed to have children since it was not happening naturally. She had always been a subscriber to the old adage “if it is meant to be, it will be”. She and her husband had recently decided to undergo IVF in hopes of increasing the odds of having a child. But she felt guilty. She was fighting with herself for wanting to try IVF and wondering if it was just forcing the hand of fate.
This client wrote to tell me that what I had said to her that day had changed her outlook about IVF. I simply asked her a question: “so if two men fell in love and wanted to have a family and a child together, does that mean that they should not try, because they would not be able to do it naturally?”.
Perspective is everything. She said she left my office that day and began to accept and fully embrace the decision to try IVF. She began to see it as a gift, an opportunity and a choice she felt ok about.
This client came to my office once and walked away with what she needed. When she left I was not sure that I had said anything particularly helpful. Her email was a reminder to me that it is important to share your point of view with your clients who come seeking council and support. I am not a therapist who will sit passively across from you. I will offer suggestions, resources, and sometimes my personal beliefs about something because maybe it will make a difference, to one person, on one particular day.
Somehow the billing was easier after that!